So what is a hidden agenda? And what does it have to do with goals you set?

When this concept of hidden agendas came to me through my mentor, Margaret Lynch, I saw the ideas about non-attachment and not having any expectations in a whole new light. I also saw how they can derail your plans big time and spin you down into those old patterns of defeat if you’re not aware that’s what’s going on.

For example …

It’s easiest to see your hidden agenda in action when you’ve set a big goal for yourself. It might be a financial income goal for the year, or maybe you’re about to launch a new product or service and you’ve set a target you want to reach.

Ideally, you create a plan, take actions to achieve it and then evaluate the results. You see what worked and what didn’t without attaching your worth to the end result. It’s not personal. It’s simply feedback from the marketplace letting you know what actions to take next.

But … if you have a conscious or unconscious belief running in your system that you aren’t good enough or worthy enough to reach your goal in the first place, you’ll actually do your best to sabotage the very thing you hope to achieve. The whole thing becomes very personal. You feel validated or attacked at a personal level. These unconscious hidden agendas are what throws you off track.

The bigger the goal, the higher the stakes.

To help you understand what hidden agendas are and detect your own, look at your big goal and ask yourself these questions:

When I reach my goal, I’ll finally feel ___________.

When I reach my goal, I’ll finally prove that I’m ____________.

I will have proven that they were wrong about ___________.

“They” are my (family, spouse, colleagues…) __________.

By achieving this goal, I’ll finally get to feel __________.

If I don’t achieve this goal, I won’t get to feel __________.

Close your eyes a moment and see yourself in the future. I made it. I reached my goal. My dominant feeling is ___________.

And if I don’t reach my goal, I plan to feel ___________.

And then I can say to myself, “See…. ____________.

To make this clearer…

Here’s some of my own vulnerable realizations around reaching a new income goal for myself.

Reaching my goal, I’ll finally feel elated, that I’m not a fraud, this is real, I did it!

I’ll finally have proven that I can make this work, I didn’t just make all this up in my head, that I can be successful.

I’ll prove to my family that they were wrong about me being a flake, a loser, a fraud.

Achieving this goal will finally let me feel safe, secure, at ease.

And if I don’t achieve the goal, I will not feel safe, secure, easy. I’ll feel devastated and in the end I’ll say, “Seeee… I knew this wouldn’t work anyway!”

This was a big wow awareness for me… Hearing the voice in my head say, “See, told you so. This was never going to work anyway. At least you finally woke up.” was a real eye opener for me. If that belief is operating in the background, can you see how it undermines the actions I’m taking?

Can you see how layering all these needs and feelings on top of our goals is a recipe for disaster? This is the proverbial driving with one foot on the gas and the other on the brake at the same time.

When you free up your goals from any personal meaning, then you are also free to bring your whole self to the table. You’re open to more possibilities, to curiosity, exploration, trying new things, celebrating your wins and learning from your losses without spiraling down into confirming your worst fears about yourself.

These hidden agendas also keep you in a holding pattern. You’re telling yourself, “When I achieve my goal, Then I’ll get to feel ______.” This ties into my last article about celebrating all your wins along the way. When you do that, it helps break up this old pattern of all or nothing / black or white thinking that keeps us stuck. And it sure is more fun.

Here’s another thing about hidden agendas that is important for women especially.

Most of us women have many blocks around our second chakra. This is the seat of our needs and desires. What do I really, really want? It’s difficult sometimes to get a clear picture. By answering the questions I posed above, it gives you a snapshot of what is truly important to you. If you think you’ll feel safe and secure when you reach that income goal, for example, you can begin to find other ways to bring that feeling into your life right now. Ways that are not attached to you achieving a particular outcome. Or waiting till some future time to meet your needs.

One final suggestion:

Close your eyes and picture yourself whole and complete. Feel that inside your body. Feel the truth of who you really are… grounded in the earth, open to the source energy, centered in the still point of your heart … a being of pure consciousness, pure potential, guided and held in love. From that place of wholeness… take action in the world.

Women on a Mission: Meet Your Inner Partner in  Creativity, Power, & Leadership