We all have many limiting beliefs stories and they start before we’re born!

My partner and I were browsing through aisles of clothes and all manner of baby paraphernalia when he grabbed a pair of short pink pants you put over diapers and set them in the cart. I felt one of my eyebrows rise up and said, “Pink?” He looked at me like?!? and said, “What difference does it make? The kid is 2 weeks old!”

Sure enough though, my son-in-law reacted with predictability. “Pink??!! No son of mine is going to be wearing pink anytime soon!”

It’s a color. One of thousands available to us to enjoy, to feel uplifted by its bright energy. Who decided that Pink is For Girls? And that if a boy wears it he’s automatically named a “sissy.” IT’S TOTALLY CRAZY when you think about it.

But before you jump in and judge my son-in-law for being so backward and conventional, I invite you to consider that we all have our “pink pants” stories. Even my raised eyebrow told me I was aware of the messy, conflicted cultural attitudes around what it means to be a boy or a girl. Did I want to give in to the norm and not buy the pants? Or say, let’s buy them just to make a point?

For years in the earlier days of the women’s movement, most women I knew wanted nothing to do with the color pink. It was a symbol of women’s oppression, too soft, too girly. We would have none of it. Gradually, it became a symbol of women’s power by taking back our feminine energy.

There’s a couple of ideas that come up for me in this story.

First of all, the pink pants represent all the ways we put limits on ourselves.

We tell ourselves stories about who we are, who we can be, what’s possible or not for our lives. Way too often we’re fighting for our own limitations rather than our brilliance. We say we’re not smart enough, or brave enough, or we’re too old, or too young to start a business or follow our heart into a new adventure.

So I ask you, what is your current pink pants story?

Where are you putting yourself in a box so you fit some cultural or internal norm that is based on a lie? Or… setting you apart in rebellion against those norms?

Another idea is connected directly to the roles/attitudes/ and behaviors assigned to girls and boys starting when they’re still in the womb. These ways we shape our children, as we were shaped by others, around what it means to be a boy or a girl are deep and often unconscious. They rule our thoughts and actions throughout our lives, until we can bring them up to our conscious awareness. 

Now here’s the tricky thing. If you think that by actively rejecting those norms or fighting against them is the answer, it’s not.

Why?

Because the war we think we’re waging somewhere outside of us, is actually taking place inside us.

It’s taken me over 45 years of being on the fighter side of the coin to see this.

It doesn’t mean that you don’t seek change and work towards a new world we’re aiming to create. But we finally come to realize the only person we can change is ourselves. And the changes we make inside us ripple out to touch everything around us. Then, when we are taking a stand for something to change, we’re grounded and centered in our own still point of love. It’s a completely different energy.

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What does this bring up for you? Share your thoughts below.

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Helping women understand how your masculine energies are set up to be your inner partner and support team for your feminine power, creativity and leadership is my own calling. When you’re ready to stop the internal battle between your male and female selves—that you probably don’t even know you’re waging—click to know more about my Make Peace With Power ~ Leadership Playground coaching program.

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Be sure to download your free guide below: Meet Your Sacred Masculine- Your Partner in Women’s Creativity, Power & Leadership.

Women on a Mission: Meet Your Inner Partner in  Creativity, Power, & Leadership