Your Second-Sacral Chakra Needs: It’s Complicated

Your Second or Sacral Chakra needs are a powerful driving force with several streams of energy converging in this one place between the navel and base of your spine.

Many of us have major blocks in this area for it involves our needs and desires, connections to power and money, plus our creativity, pleasure and sexuality. It’s not too hard to see how complicated this can be.

Once we feel secure and safe in our first chakra, we start to be aware of ourselves in the world. We have these sensations of physicality, of feeling present in the world. This is where our needs and desires begin. And many, many of us have no idea what our true needs or desires are.

Beyond our basic physical needs of air, water, food, shelter and sex, we each have a unique way we express our own particular needs, feelings and desires. Our needs for connection, integrity, play, autonomy, celebration and spiritual communion are something we all share. But the way we choose to get them met are unique to us.

Some of us might need to be more creative, while others might need more autonomy or humor.

Why Would We Deny Our Needs And Desires?

First of all, we were rarely taught anything about recognizing our needs, feelings and desires. When our needs weren’t met, we took very powerful vows to shut down our second chakra. When a chakra is shut down or blocked, we operate out of what’s known as our shadow side – those parts we judge and criticize in ourselves – but even more so, in others.

Three Key Second Chakra Vows

As children, whenever we didn’t get our needs met we felt hurt, invaded or vulnerable. We said, “Hey no way am I going to do that again. I just won’t have any needs. I refuse to even recognize them!” Our hurt turns into shame in the second chakra and, convinced we don’t have any needs, we decide to hide out from our own lives. We choose to be appropriate rather than reveal our true self.

The next major vow of the second chakra has to do with our relationship to our parents, or parent figure. If they were living out of their own “shadow side” and tried to live their life through us without respecting our personal boundaries, we might have felt overwhelmed, unsure how to be autonomous. We took a vow to NEVER be like them. But that vow means we never get to be ourselves either. We’re always in reaction against someone or something else.

The third major vow of the second chakra has to do with how much we were seen, valued, held, celebrated and nurtured by our parents just for being us, just for being alive. When that didn’t happen, we vow to do everything ourselves. “Since I can’t count on anyone else, I’ll just do it myself.” We use our achievements to fill up the hole in our soul and find it very difficult to ask for help.

“When we understand the needs that motivate our own and other’s behavior, we have no enemies.” – Marshall Rosenberg

Our needs are so important to recognize for when we don’t, we project them onto others and judge them for the very things we feel we’re lacking.

As we begin to clear blocks to our awareness of our true needs and desires, the doorway to intimacy also opens. When we’re clear within ourselves, we’re not projecting our needs onto others, whether we’re alone or with a partner. We don’t have to be in an intimate relationship to be aware of intimacy. It’s an intimacy with us that begins the whole process.

What Are Your Own Personal Needs?

The first step to waking up to our own life is developing a stronger understanding of our own personal needs. It’s often very hard for women to express our needs clearly, especially if we’re married or have children. We were taught to put our needs last, if at all. Men might not be any clearer on knowing their needs. But for the most part, they were taught they had a right to their needs being met, often by a woman.

Take some time to download this list of needs available from the Bay Non Violent Communications Center based on the work of Marshall Rosenberg.

Needs and Feelings Inventory  ©2009 by Inbal, Miki and Arnina Kashtan – www.baynvc.org

Go over the list and let yourself “feel into” which needs seem to call out to you. You might make a checkmark for needs you feel are fulfilled in your life now, and an X for those you realize are your unmet needs. Then make a list of your top 10 personal needs.

Next time we’ll talk more about Desire and how it plays a role in our second chakra and our lives, tying our needs and desires together.

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